I am muslim 16 year old boy.i pray and fast regularly,i am straight but the problem is that i am homosexual, i first was thinking of my father , i think i became homosexual genetically, i see usually bad pictures, but i want to give up, i never done any sex in my life, i really am afraid of god, and i always pray for him to help me.
please sir, i beg you, tell me how practically can i get rid of this nasty desire.
we ask Allaah to heal you quickly from this serious disease,
and to cleanse your heart of all evil, for He is Able to do that. For the
harm caused by falling into this great sin is not limited to punishment in
the Hereafter, rather it goes beyond that and a part of the punishment may
happen in this world; even if it is nothing more than the regret and
feelings of guilt that result from it, that is enough, so how about if that
is accompanied by incurable fatal diseases which the doctors are agreed are
widespread among homosexuals and are caused by these perverted practices?
You may find more information on that if you refer to question no.
10050.
The way to deal with your problem is as follows:
Firstly:
You have to repent sincerely from your heart, turn to Allaah,
regret what you have done, and pray a great deal to Allaah, asking Him to
forgive you and help you to get rid of this problem. For Allaah is most
Generous and is Close and always Responsive. Allaah says (interpretation of
the meaning):
“Say: ‘O ‘Ibaadi (My slaves) who have transgressed against
themselves (by committing evil deeds and sins)! Despair not of the Mercy of
Allaah, verily, Allaah forgives all sins. Truly, He is Oft-Forgiving, Most
Merciful’”
[al-Zumar 39:53]
So stand before Allaah weeping, beseeching, expressing your
need for Him and seeking His forgiveness, and receive the glad tidings from
Allaah of a way out and forgiveness.
Secondly:
Strive to plant the seeds of faith in your heart, for when
they grow they will bear fruits of happiness in this world and in the
Hereafter.
Faith in Allaah is what – after the help of Allaah – protects
a person from falling into haraam things. The Prophet (peace and
blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “No adulterer is a believer at the
moment when he is committing adultery.” (Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 2475;
Muslim, 57). So when faith is well established in your heart and fills your
heart and emotions, you will not violate His sacred limits, in sha Allaah.
If the believer stumbles on one occasion he will quickly wake up. Allaah
describes His slaves as follows (interpretation of the meaning):
“Verily, those who are Al-Muttaqoon (the pious), when an
evil thought comes to them from Shaytaan (Satan), they remember (Allaah),
and (indeed) they then see (aright)”
[al-A’raaf 7:201]
Thirdly:
Try to follow the advice which the Prophet (peace and
blessings of Allaah be upon him) gave to young people, which is to get
married if you are able to. Do not pay any attention to the fact that you
are young, for being young is not a reason not to get married, far from it,
so long as you have the need to get married. The Prophet (peace and
blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “O young men, whoever among you can
afford to get married, let him do so, for it is more effective in lowering
the gaze and protecting chastity. Whoever cannot afford that should fast,
for it will be a shield for him.” (Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 5065; Muslim,
1400). Strive to follow this advice from the Prophet (peace and
blessings of Allaah be upon him), for this is the solution to your problem,
in sha Allaah.
There is nothing wrong with telling your father and mother of
your need and desire to get married; don’t let shyness stop you from doing
that.
Think seriously about marriage and do not fear poverty, and
Allaah will grant you independence of means by His bounty. Allaah says
(interpretation of the meaning):
“And marry those among you who are single (i.e. a man who
has no wife and the woman who has no husband) and (also marry) the Saalihoon
(pious, fit and capable ones) of your (male) slaves and maid-servants
(female slaves). If they be poor, Allaah will enrich them out of His Bounty.
And Allaah is All-Sufficient for His creatures’ needs, All-Knowing (about
the state of the people)”
[al-Noor 24:32]
The Prophet (peace
and blessings of Allaah be upon him) has told us that the one who gets
married with a good intention, Allaah will help him. It was narrated from
Abu Hurayrah (may Allaah be pleased with him) that the Messenger of Allaah
(peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “There are three who
are entitled to Allaah’s help: the mujaahid who fights for the sake of
Allaah, the slave who made a contract of manumission with his master,
wanting to buy his freedom, and the one who gets married, seeking chastity.”
(Narrated by al-Tirmidhi, 1655; al-Nasaa’i, 3120; Ibn Maajah, 2518; classed
as hasan by al-Albaani in Saheeh al-Targheeb wa’l-Tarheeb, 1917).
Fourthly:
If it is not easy for you
to get married, then there is another solution, which is fasting. So why not
think of fasting three days of each month, or on Mondays and Thursdays?
How great is the reward of fasting. The Prophet (peace
and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said that Allaah said, “All the deeds
of the son of Adam are for him except for fasting, which is for Me and I
shall give reward for it.” (Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 1904; Muslim 1151).
And Allaah tells us that He has enjoined fasting on us so
that we might become pious:
“O you who believe!
Observing As-Sawm (the fasting) is prescribed for you as it was prescribed
for those before you, that you may become Al-Muttaqoon (the pious)”
[al-Baqarah 2:183]
Fasting – as well as offering protection from following whims
and desires and bringing a great reward from Allaah – also trains a person
to have strong will, patience and forbearance, to rise above the desires and
pleasures of the self. So hasten to fast so that Allaah may make things
easier for you.
Fifthly:
Beware of thinking little of looking at haraam things in
cheap magazines and nude pictures which lead to committing immoral actions
that doom a person to Hell, and have deep and bad effects on the heart –
Allaah forbid. Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):
“Tell the believing men to lower their gaze (from looking
at forbidden things), and protect their private parts (from illegal sexual
acts). That is purer for them. Verily, Allaah is All-Aware of what they do”
[al-Noor 24:30]
You should note that if
you think little of this evil, this gives the Shaytaan an opportunity to
make other actions that lie beyond that seem attractive to you, which is
obvious. But he will do that because you gave in to him, even if that only
happened once.
Sixthly:
Remember, when the idea of sin come to you, or the Shaytaan
whispers to you to commit a sin, that the parts of your body will bear
witness against you on the Day of Resurrection for this sin. Do you not know
that these limbs and this youthful energy are a blessing from Allaah to you?
So can it be an act of gratitude to Allaah that you use them to disobey
Allaah and rebel against the commands of Allaah?
There is another matter which you should pay attention to.
Read with me the following verse (interpretation of the meaning):
“Till, when they reach it (Hell-fire), their hearing
(ears) and their eyes and their skins will testify against them as to what
they used to do.
And they will say to
their skins, ‘Why do you testify against us?’ They will say: ‘Allaah has
caused us to speak.’
He causes all things to speak, and He created you the first time, and to Him
you are made to return”
[Fussilat 41:20-21]
It was narrated that Anas ibn Maalik said: “We were with the
Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) and he
smiled and said, ‘Do you know why I am smiling?’ We said, ‘Allaah and His
Messenger know best.’ He said, ‘Because of how a person will address his
Lord. He will say, ‘O Lord, did You not guarantee me protection against
injustice?’ He will say, ‘Yes.’ He will say, ‘I do not deem valid any
witness against me but my own self.’ Allaah will say, ‘Your own self will be
sufficient as a witness against you this Day, and the honourable scribes
(recording angels) will also bear witness.’ Then a seal will be placed over
his mouth and it will be said to his limbs, ‘Speak!’ And they will speak of
his deeds. Then he will be allowed to speak and will say, ‘Away with you! It
was for your sake that I argued.’” (Narrated by Muslim, 2969).
Seventhly:
Avoid being alone, for this makes you think about your
desires. Try to fill your time with things that will benefit you, such as
doing righteous deeds, reading Qur’aan, dhikr and prayer.
Eighthly:
Avoid keeping company with evil and immoral people who
discuss these subjects, talk about things that provoke desire, take the
matter of sin lightly and encourage it. You have to look for good friends
who will remind you of Allaah and help you to obey Him. The Prophet
(peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said, “A man will follow the
religion of his close friend, so be careful about who you make friends
with.” (Narrated by al-Tirmidhi, 2378; classed as hasan by al-Albaani in
Saheeh al-Tirmidhi, 1937).
Ninthly:
If it so happens that you
fall into sin in a moment of weakness, do not persist in that, rather be
quick to repent to Allaah, lest you become one of those of whom Allaah says
(interpretation of the meaning):
“And those who, when
they have committed Faahishah (illegal sexual intercourse) or wronged
themselves with evil, remember Allaah and ask forgiveness for their sins; —
and none can forgive sins but Allaah — and do not persist in what (wrong)
they have done, while they know”
[Aal ‘Imraan 3:135]
My brother, do not despair of the mercy of Allaah. Beware of
letting the Shaytaan have any power over you or letting him whisper to you
that Allaah will never forgive you. For Allaah forgives all sins of those
who repent to Him.
I hope that Allaah will help you and will make it easy for
you to get out of this problem.
For more information on this topic I advise you to read the
booklet Kayfa tawaajih al-shahwah: hadeeth ila
al-shabaab wa’l-fatayaat.
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