Are a men and women allowed to have sex on
their wedding night. including intercourse?
If so, how often are the husband allowed to have intercourse once a week
and so on.
Please note, I could not use any other wording for what I am asking.
Praise be to Allaah.
Yes, the couple can have intercourse on the first night of
their marriage if they want to. There is nothing in sharee’ah to indicate the number
of times a couple may or should have intercourse, because this varies according to
circumstances and personal preferences. As long as people vary in their abilities it is
not possible for sharee’ah to impose a specific number in such cases. But intercourse
is the right of the wife and is a duty on the husband. Ibn Qudaamah al-Hanbali (may Allaah
have mercy on him) said: “Intercourse is a duty on the man – i.e., the husband
should have intercourse with his wife – so long as he has no excuse. This is also the
opinion of Maalik.” (al-Mughni, 7/30)
Imaam al-Bukhaari reported from ‘Abd-Allaah ibn
‘Amr ibn al-‘Aas, who said: “The Messenger of Allaah
blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: ‘O ‘Abd-Allah, have I not heard that you
fast all day and stand all night in prayer?’ I said, ‘Yes, O Messenger of
Allaah.’ He said: ‘Do not do that. Fast and break your fast, stand in prayer and
sleep. For your body has rights over you, your eyes have rights over you, and your wife
has rights over you.’” In the commentary on this hadeeth, it says: “The
husband should not exhaust himself in worship to the extent that he becomes too weak to
fulfil her rights by having intercourse with her and by earning a living.” (Fath
It is also the wife’s right that her husband should
spend his nights with her. Ibn Qudaamah al-Hanbali said: “If he has a wife, he should
spend one night in four with her, so long as he has no excuse.” (Al-Mughni,
7/28; Kashf al-Qinaa’, 3/144).
Shaykh al-Islam Ibn Taymiyah said: “It is obligatory
for the husband to have intercourse with his wife as much as is needed to satisfy her, so
long as this does not exhaust him physically or keep him away from earning a living…
If they dispute over this matter, the judge should prescribe more in the way of
intercourse just as he may prescribe more in the way of spending.” (Al-Ikhtiyaaraat
al-Fiqhiyyah min Fataawa Shaykh al-Islam Ibn Taymiyah, p. 246)
Sharee’ah also requires that a wife be protected from immorality by
means of her husband having intercourse with her, as much as is needed to satisfy her and
to provide this protection. But there is no way that this can be stated in terms of a
specific period of time, such as four months, or more, or less. It should be defined
according to the wife’s needs and her husband’s ability to fulfil her
rights… All of this applies in normal circumstances, when the husband is present and
living with his wife.
If the husband is absent from his wife because he is travelling for a
legitimate purpose or other legitimate excuse, in this case the husband should try not to
be absent from his wife for too long.
If he is absent because he is doing something for the benefit of the
Muslims as a whole, such as participating in jihaad for the sake of Allaah or patrolling
the borders of Islam, he should be permitted to go back to his family once every four
months or less, so that he can spend time with them before returning to his duties in
jihaad or border patrol. This was the policy of ‘Umar ibn al-Khattaab (may Allah be
pleased with him), who stipulated that soldiers and members of the border patrol should be
absent from their wives for only four months, after which time they should be brought back
and others sent to take their place… (Al-Mufassal fi Ahkaam al-Mar’ah
by Zaydaan, 7/239).
And Allaah is the source of strength.