Wednesday, 10 August 2011

She is in love with a married man and cannot keep away from him


She had a boyfriend, but he left her and got married. She has another boyfriend who is married and she used to tell him about her worries. She fell in love with him and cannot keep away from him. He promised her that he would divorce his wife and marry her, but his mother refuses to let him divorce his wife and marry her. Now she is going out with him.

Praise be to Allaah.


You have to repent and seek forgiveness, and regret what you
have done by getting in touch with men who are not your mahrams, and
speaking to them and going out with them. 

You must also cut off all ties with this second man
immediately, with no hesitation, because the relationship between you is

How can you accept to be the cause of his divorcing his wife?
If you were in her position, would you accept for your husband to divorce
you in order to marry another woman who has come between you to spoil your


We do not know how a wise man could agree to marry a woman
when he knows that she has had a haraam relationship with a man before him
and she has not repented from that relationship. 

Whatever happened to chastity and protective jealousy? Does
he not fear that this man may come back into her life again? 

To put it bluntly, either this woman has repented or she has
not. If she has repented from those relationships then there can never be
any contact or relationship between them except in marriage. In this case
there is nothing wrong with marrying her, but he should obey his mother, and
not divorce his first wife. 

If she has not repented from these actions, then it is not
unlikely that she may form a relationship with a third man and a fourth. 

Similarly, in your case, how can you agree to marry a man who
is content to form haraam relationships, speaking and meeting with women? If
he has repented, then there can never be any meetings between you, and if he
has not repented, then a man like that cannot be trusted. His aim may be
just to have fun with you, and even if he is sincere in wanting to marry
you, there is nothing that would stop him from forming haraam relationships
with other women. 

Hence you have to cut off all ties without hesitating, and
pray for forgiveness from Allaah for wasting your life in haraam pursuits.
Turn to Allaah and ask Him to purify your heart and to remove all traces of
those haraam relationships which have corrupted your heart and mind, let
alone detracted from your religious commitment. 

If you are sincere in repenting there is the hope that Allaah
will bless you with someone better than him, and will make it easy for you
to get married to a chaste and righteous man who will treat you in a decent
manner and help you to attain the pleasure of your Lord, and you and he will
form a believing family and produce good and righteous offspring. 

Do not pay any attention to your heart and emotions, for in
this case emotion has overpowered reason and religious commitment, and has
harmed your spiritual and worldly interests. Your heart now is sick so you
should not let it lead you to Hell. 

Seek the help of Allaah, for He will not let down the one who
seeks His help, and the one who humbles himself before his Lord will never
lose out. Do a lot of righteous deeds, and seek righteous, believing female
friends who can help you to deal with your worries and help you to obey your

And Allaah is the Source of strength.

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