His mother does not agree to him marrying this woman; what should he do?

My grandmother died and I did not offer the funeral prayer for her, although I live in the same city, because they buried her before I could get there. Now it is three years since she died. Do I have to do anything?.

Praise be to Allaah.

It seems from your question that you feel that you let your grandmother down. If you were in the same city and were able to attend the funeral prayer and burial, why did you not do that? What kept you from being present for the best thing that you could do to honour your grandmother when she died, and offer the funeral prayer and make du’aa’ for her and pray for forgiveness for her? 

Grandfathers and grandmothers must be honoured and treated kindly, just like parents. 

It says in al-Mawsoo’ah al-Fiqhiyyah (16/133): 

Grandfathers and grandmothers are like parents in terms of honour. End quote. 

But you have an opportunity to make up for what you missed, in sha Allaah. You can go and offer the funeral prayer over her grave. Imam al-Shaafa’i and others are of the view that it is permissible to offer the funeral prayer over the grave of the deceased. The evidence for that is: 

The report narrated by al-Bukhaari (458) and Muslim (956) that the Messenger (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) offered the funeral prayer for a woman at her grave. She used to clean the mosque, and the Sahaabah had buried her without informing the Messenger (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) of her death. 

It was narrated from Ibn ‘Abbaas (may Allaah be pleased with him) that the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) passed by a grave where the burial had taken place at night and said: “When was this one buried?’ They said: Last night. He said: “Why didn’t you tell me?” They said: We buried him in the dark of night and we did not want to wake you up. He stood up and we stood in rows behind him. Ibn ‘Abbaas said: And I was among them, and he offered the funeral prayer for him. Narrated by al-Bukhaari (1321). 

It was narrated from Yazeed ibn Thaabit (may Allaah be pleased with him) that they went out with the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) one day and he saw a new grave. He said: “What is this?” They said: It is So and so, the freed slave woman of Banu So and so – and the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) recognized her name – She died at noon when you were taking a nap, and we did not want to wake you up for her. The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) stood and the people formed rows behind him, and he said takbeer four times (i.e., offered the funeral prayer). Then he said: “No one should die when I am still among you without you telling me, for my prayer for him will be a mercy.” Narrated by al-Nasaa’i (2022); classed as hasan by Ibn ‘Abd al-Barr in al-Tamheed (6/271). Classed as saheeh by al-Albaani in Saheeh al-Nasaa’i. 

Ibn Abi Shaybah narrated in al-Musannaf (3/239) a number of reports from the Sahaabah and Taabi’een who offered the funeral prayer over graves after the burial, including ‘Aa’ishah (may Allaah be pleased with her), who offered the funeral prayer at the grave of her brother ‘Abd al-Rahmaan; and Ibn ‘Umar who offered the funeral prayer at the grave of his brother ‘Aasim; and Sulaymaan ibn Rabee’ah and Ibn Sireen and others. This was also narrated by Ibn Hazm in al-Muhalla (3/366) from Anas, ‘Ali and Ibn Mas’ood (may Allaah be pleased with them all). 

Some fuqaha’ did not allow offering the funeral prayer over graves at all, and some of them limited it to one month or three days, but there is no evidence for this restriction. 

Ibn Hazm (may Allaah have mercy on him) said in al-Muhalla (3/366): 

With regard to restricting the funeral prayer to within one month or three days, it is clearly wrong because it is restricting it with no evidence. End quote. 

Shaykh Ibn ‘Uthaymeen (may Allaah have mercy on him) said in al-Sharh al-Mumti’ (5/436): 

The correct view is that we may offer the funeral prayer over graves even after one month, but some of the scholars imposed an interesting restriction, and said: That is subject to the condition that the person who is buried died at a time when the one who is praying was able to pray. 

For example: If a man died twenty years ago, and a man who is thirty years old goes out to pray for him, that is valid, because when he died the one who is praying was only ten years old, so he could have offered the prayer for the dead man. 

Another example: If a man died thirty years ago, and a man who is twenty years old goes out to pray for him, that is not valid, because the one who is praying did not exist at the time when the man died, so he could not have prayed for him. 

So it is not prescribed for us to offer the funeral prayer at the grave of the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him), and we do not know of anyone who said that it is prescribed to offer the funeral prayer at the grave of the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) or at the graves of the Sahaabah, rather we should just stand and say du’aa’. End quote. 

For more information please see al-Umm (1/425), al-Majmoo’ (5/208-210), al-Mughni (2/194-195), Badaa’i’ al-Sanaa’i’ (1/315) and al-Mawsoo’ah al-Fiqhiyyah (16/35). 

Honouring parents or grandparents does not stop when their life ends, rather it continues after their death, and the greatest way in which a person can honour his parents is by making du’aa’ for them and praying for forgiveness for them. 

It was narrated that Abu Usayd Maalik ibn Rabee’ah al-Saa’idi said: Whilst we were with the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him), a man from Banu Salamah came to him and said: O Messenger of Allaah, is there anything left that I can do to honour my parents after they die? He said: “Yes. Pray for them, ask for forgiveness for them, carry out their last wishes, uphold the ties of kinship that you would not have were it not for them, and honour their friends.” Narrated by Abu Dawood (5142); classed as hasan by Ibn al-‘Arabi in ‘Aaridah al-Ahwadhi (4/307); classed as saheeh by Shaykh Ibn Baaz in Majmoo’ al-Fataawa (9/295). 

The author of ‘Awn al-Ma’bood (14/36) said: “Pray for them” means making du’aa’, and it includes the funeral prayer. This was the view of al-Qaari’. And in Fath al-Wudood it says: What is meant is praying for mercy for them. End quote. 

And Allaah knows best.

She is helping her parents from her salary without her husband’s knowledge

am a married woman with three children. I work in a company and I get a monthly salary from which I contribute to household expenses, i.e., I help my husband. My question is: my father is 84 years old and my mother is 76, and I am their only daughter. I help them from my monthly salary without my husband’s knowledge, even though he would not object to that. What is the Islamic ruling on that?.

Praise be to Allaah.

If there was no condition stipulated by your husband that you may work provided you spend all or part of your salary on household expenses, then the salary that you get or the amount that is left after you pay the amount that your husband stipulated you should pay, is your property and it is permissible for you to spend it in any way that is halaal, and you do not have to ask your husband’s permission with regard to that. But if you do that so as show respect to him, that is better. 

Helping one’s parents is one of the greatest acts of kindness and goodness, and it comes under the heading of upholding ties of kinship that increases one’s lifespan and brings blessing in one's provision, as the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “Whoever would like his rizq (provision) to be increased and his life to be extended, should uphold the ties of kinship.” Narrated by al-Bukhaari (5986) and Muslim (2557).  

Based on that, there is nothing wrong with what you are doing by helping your parents with part of your salary without your husband’s knowledge, especially since you say that he does not mind, but if you think that telling him will make him feel respected, then that is better. 

We ask Allaah to reward you for this help and to bless your wealth and your work for you. 

And Allaah knows best.

Is the duty of honouring one’s parents waived if they practise witchcraft against their children?

A father did witchcraft against his daughter, who is my wife now, in order to cause separation between us and make his daughter unaware of what is going on. What is the religious ruling in this case? Should she cut off ties with him? Please note that he is persisting in trying to create separation between us by these deviant means. Or is it sufficient for her to keep in touch with him by phone, especially on the two Eids?.

Praise be to Allaah.

The right of parents to kind treatment is not waived even if they practise witchcraft and deviancy and seek to harm their children thereby. 

Allaah has enjoined us to behave with them in this world kindly, even if they tell their son to associate others with Allaah (shirk). Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning): 

“But if they (both) strive with you to make you join in worship with Me others that of which you have no knowledge, then obey them not; but behave with them in the world kindly”

[Luqmaan 31:15] 

Even if the father commits a major sin, it is not permissible to forsake him, rather you must treat him kindly and exhort him in the way that is better, and do not tire of advising him, for Allaah may guide him at your hands. At the same time you must be cautious of him and avoid the things that he could use in his witchcraft such as eating or drinking in his presence, and you should also protect yourself with the du’aa’s that are prescribed in Islam for that purpose. 

If you are afraid that visiting him may lead to harm for you, then there is no sin on you if you refrain from visiting him, and limit your keeping in touch and kindness to phone calls, asking after him and helping him if he needs help. 

The father has to fear Allaah and give up the major sin that he is committing (if it is as his daughter describes) before death catches him unawares when he is like that. We also advise the questioner not to accuse her father of what she mentioned without definite proof. It may be the matter of doubts and waswaas, with no basis in reality. 

And Allaah knows best.

His father denies that prayer is obligatory and reviles the Sahaabah. What is the ruling concerning him, and how should he interact with him?

Praise be to Allaah Who has guided us and blessed us with the blessing of Islam. I started to become religiously committed a few months ago, but my father is opposing me in that. My father does not pray, because he does not acknowledge that prayer is obligatory. He even reviles some of the Sahaabah and speaks against ‘Aa’ishah, and he speaks ill of some of the righteous such as Shaykh al-Islam Ibn Taymiyah. He doubts any hadeeth and he favours the Shi’ah. He treats me, my mother and my siblings badly, and he even mistreats my mother and humiliates her. He does not let my younger brother go to the mosque on the grounds that he should study, and he does not let me speak to my siblings about religious matters. He does not like anyone to advise him, and he cannot bear to listen to Qur’aan or to religious programs, and he thinks they are tools of misguidance. Every time he sees me watching a religious programme, he changes the channel. 
What is the Islamic ruling concerning him? How can I deal with him? Please note that I treat him kindly, praise be to Allaah, and I pray for him, but he mistreats me and humiliates me, and he tells my siblings that I am a terrorist, and he encourages them to listen to music and not to watch religious programs or listen to me. 
I hope that you can answer my question. May Allaah reward you with good.

Praise be to Allaah.

Firstly: 

We ask Allaah to increase your reward for the hardship that you are going through, and we ask Him to guide your father before his life ends. 

As for the ruling on your father, he has done and said things some of which imply that he is a kaafir who is beyond the pale of Islam, so how about if they are taken all together? That includes not praying even if that is due to laziness, and denying that prayer is obligatory. These two things constitute kufr and put one beyond the pale of Islam. With regard to the former, according to the correct scholarly view, that applies even if one does not pray because of laziness, and the latter is something on which there is scholarly consensus. There is no difference of opinion concerning the fact that the one who does not pray because he denies that it is obligatory is a kaafir who is beyond the pale of Islam. 

Shaykh Muhammad al-Ameen al-Shanqeeti (may Allaah have mercy on him) said: 

The scholars are unanimously agreed that the one who does not pray and denies that it is obligatory is a kaafir, and that he should be executed as a kaafir if he does not repent. 

Adwa’ al-Bayaan (4/335). 

Your father is not failing to pray because he is lazy, rather he is failing to pray because he denies that it is obligatory. Even if he failed to pray due to laziness he would still be a kaafir, so how about if does not pray because he denies that it is obligatory? 

As for his reviling some of the Sahaabah, it seems that he only spares some of the Sahaabah and reviles some of the others. It seems to us from your question that your father is a believer in the evil Raadifi school of thought, which accuses the Sahaabah of being apostates apart from a very few of them. This means that they are kaafirs, and those scholars who did not rule that they are kaafirs ruled that they should be imprisoned until they repent or die. 

Shaykh Muhammad ibn Saalih al-‘Uthaymeen (may Allaah have mercy on him) said: 

Reviling the Sahaabah falls into three categories: 

1 – Reviling them by saying that most of them were kaafirs or that all of them were evildoers. This is kufr because it is a rejection of the praise of Allaah and His Messenger for them and their approval of them. The one who doubts that such a person is a kaafir is himself a kaafir, because this view implies that those who transmitted the Qur’aan and Sunnah were kaafirs or evildoers. 

2 – If he reviles them by cursing them, then there are two scholarly views as to whether he is a kaafir. According to the view that he is not a kaafir, he is still to be flogged and imprisoned until he dies or recants what he said. 

3 – If he reviles them in a way that does not reach the level of doubting their religious commitment, such as saying that they were cowardly or miserly. He is not a kaafir, but he should be given a disciplinary punishment (ta’zeer) to serve as a deterrent. This was stated by Shaykh al-Islam Ibn Taymiyah in al-Saarim al-Maslool, where he narrates on p. 573 that Ahmad said: It is not permissible for anyone to mention any of their bad qualities or to criticize any of them for a fault or shortcoming. Whoever does that should be disciplined, then if he repents all well and good, otherwise he should be flogged in prison until he dies or recants. 

Fataawa al-Shaykh Ibn ‘Uthaymeen (5/83, 84). 

One of the implications of criticizing the Sahaabah (may Allaah be pleased with them) is that one is criticizing the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him), and Islam, and the Lord of mankind, may He be glorified and exalted. 

Shaykh Muhammad ibn Saalih al-‘Uthaymeen (may Allaah have mercy on him) said: 

Reviling the Sahaabah (may Allaah be pleased with them) is not only an insult against the Sahaabah (may Allaah be pleased with them), rather it is an insult against the Sahaabah, against the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him), against the laws of Allaah and against Allaah Himself, may He be glorified and exalted. 

-         As for its being an insult against the Sahaabah, that is clear.

-         As for its being an insult against the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him), that is by suggesting that his companions, confidants and successors as rulers of his ummah were among the worst of people.

It is also an insult against the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) in another sense, which is that it is a rejection of what he said about their virtues and good qualities.

-         As for it being an insult against the laws of Allaah, that is because the intermediaries in the transmission of the sharee’ah from the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) to us were the Sahaabah. If they were not of good character, then the sharee’ah that they transmitted cannot be trusted either.

-         As for it being an insult against Allaah, may He be glorified, that is by suggesting that He sent His Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) to the worst of mankind and chose them to be his companions and to convey his sharee’ah to the ummah. 

Look at the serious issues that are implied by reviling the Sahaabah (may Allaah be pleased with them). 

We disavow the way of these Raafidis who revile and hate the Sahaabah. We believe that loving the Sahaabah is obligatory and that refraining from speaking ill of them is obligatory. Our hearts – praise be to Allaah – are filled with love for them, because of the faith and piety that they had, and because they spread knowledge and supported the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him). 

And we disavow the ways of the Naasibis (such as the Khawaarij) who revile the Ahl al-Bayt in word or deed. 

Majmoo’ Fataawa al-Rasaa’il Ibn ‘Uthaymeen (8/616). 

So it comes as no surprise that the scholars of Islam described as a heretic everyone who criticized the companions of the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him).  

Ibn Hajar al-Haytami (may Allaah have mercy on him) said: 

The imam of his age, Abu Zar’ah al-Raazi – one of the greatest of Muslim shaykhs – said:  If you see a man criticizing any of the companions of the Messenger of Allaah, then you should know that he is a heretic, because the Messenger is true, the Qur'aan is true, and what he brought is true. All of that was transmitted to us by the Sahaabah, so whoever criticizes them is intending to prove that the Qur’aan and Sunnah are false. So he is the one who most deserves to be criticized and the ruling that he is a heretic who has gone astray and is a liar and evildoer is more apt. 

Al-Sawaa’iq al-Muhriqah (2/608). 

The same may be said about slandering the Mother of the Believers ‘Aa’ishah (may Allaah be pleased with her) – the one who does that is a kaafir and apostate. 

For more details please see the answer to question no. 954. 

If the companions of the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) are not safe from a person, then the imams of guidance who came after them will not be safe from him either, such as the Taabi’een and those who followed them, such as Shaykh al-Islam Ibn Taymiyah. By reviling the Sahaabah and criticizing their religious commitment, he has proven that he follows a religion other than ours. 

Secondly: 

As for how to deal with your father: 

You have to use different ways of explaining the truth to him and strive to guide him. Do not despair or give up. By his beliefs, words and actions he has gone out of Islam altogether, but you have to do what you think is best for him. We advise you to do several things such as the following: 

1-    You have to disavow his beliefs, words and deeds.

2-    Be gentle in conveying the truth to him.

3-    Use various means of calling him and explaining the truth to him. There are debates that have taken place between Ahl al-Sunnah and the Raafidis, in which they were roundly defeated. So you can make use of them to convince him to watch and listen to them. There are also audio tapes and books that may suffice to call those who criticize the Sahaabah and refute their specious arguments.

4-    Strive not to let your father influence your mother and siblings, so that the influence of kufr and apostasy will not spread any further.

5-    Defend yourself by means of your good attitude and good manners with him and your family.

6-    Do not despair about him being guided, and continue to call him, either directly or through others of Ahl al-Sunnah whom you know and trust.

7-    Always pray for him and choose good times such as the last third of the night, and good situations, such as when prostrating in prayer. 

The scholars of the Standing Committee were asked: 

How should we deal with a man who reviles the three companions? 

They replied: 

The companions of the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) are the best of this ummah, whom Allaah praised in His Book. Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning): 

“And the foremost to embrace Islam of the Muhaajiroon and the Ansaar and also those who followed them exactly (in Faith). Allaah is well-pleased with them as they are well-pleased with Him. He has prepared for them Gardens under which rivers flow (Paradise), to dwell therein forever. That is the supreme success”

[al-Tawbah 9:100] 

“Indeed, Allaah was pleased with the believers when they gave the Bay‘ah (pledge) to you (O Muhammad صلى الله عليه وسلم) under the tree, He knew what was in their hearts, and He sent down As‑Sakeenah (calmness and tranquillity) upon them, and He rewarded them with a near victory”

[al-Fath 48:18] 

And there are other verses in which Allaah praises the Sahaabah and promises them admittance to Paradise. Abu Bakr, ‘Umar, ‘Uthmaan and ‘Ali are among the foremost to embrace Islam and those who swore allegiance (bay’ah) to the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) under the tree. The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) himself swore allegiance on behalf of ‘Uthmaan [who had been sent as a envoy to negotiate with Quraysh in Makkah] which was testimony in his favour and a sign of his trust in him, and this oath of allegiance was stronger than the oath of others to the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him), according to many ahaadeeth, especially the oath of Abu Bakr, ‘Umar, ‘Uthmaan and ‘Ali. They were given the glad tidings of Paradise along with a number of other Sahaabah, and the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) warned against reviling them, as he said: “Do not revile my companions, for if one of you were to spend the equivalent of (Mount) Uhud in gold, that would not equal the mudd of one of them, or even half of it.” Narrated by Muslim in his Saheeh via Abu Hurayrah and Abu Sa’eed al-Khudri. Al-Bukhaari also narrated it from Abu Hurayrah.  

The one who reviles or insults the companions of the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him), especially the three: Abu Bakr, ‘Umar and ‘Uthmaan, who are asked about here, has gone against the Book of Allaah and the Sunnah of His Messenger, and has contradicted them by reviling them. He will be deprived of the forgiveness which Allaah has promised to those who follow them and pray for forgiveness for them and pray to Allaah not to allow hatred in their hearts towards the believers.  

Because of his criticism of these three and their like, he must be advised and told of their virtue and status, and their seniority in Islam. If he repents, then he is one of our brothers in faith, but if he persists in reviling them, then he must be disciplined, whilst paying attention to the shar’i policy of denouncing according to what one is able to do; the one who is unable to denounce with his tongue or hand (i.e., by speaking out or taking action) must do so with his heart, but this is the weakest of faith, as is proven in the saheeh hadeeth. 

Fataawa Islamiyyah (1/12). 

We ask Allaah to help you in your efforts and to make you steadfast in adhering to the truth, and to guide your father. 

And Allaah knows best.

His family are criticizing him for staying with them and not getting married; how should he deal with them?

I treat my family well, but they are not treating me in the same way. Sometimes they shame me because I still am unmarried and staying with them. From my simple salary, 200 LE, I try to help at home. I am a governmental clerk at education ministry. I wanted to study another field, actually I did not want to work for the government, but I listened to them. They were saying a lot of things about the advantages of working for the government; such as stability and pension, etc. I became a clerk. Now I cannot get married. I am 34 years old, I avoid being disobedient to my parents. But I have dignity and I want to protect it when they say such things to me, especially my mother when she says “you still are unmarried staying with us”. How shall I behave with them? I try to repress my anger a lot but until when?!.

Praise be to Allaah.

Firstly: 

Your parents have great rights over you and are entitled to respect and kind treatment, even if they mistreat you, and even if they try to make you leave Islam and join the caravan of shirk – Allaah forbid. This is a right that is guaranteed to them by Islam. Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning): 

“And your Lord has decreed that you worship none but Him. And that you be dutiful to your parents. If one of them or both of them attain old age in your life, say not to them a word of disrespect, nor shout at them but address them in terms of honour”

[al-Isra’ 17:23] 

“But if they (both) strive with you to make you join in worship with Me others that of which you have no knowledge, then obey them not; but behave with them in the world kindly, and follow the path of him who turns to Me in repentance and in obedience. Then to Me will be your return, and I shall tell you what you used to do”

[Luqmaan 31:15] 

Remember this even though you think that your treating them kindly and honouring them is destroying your “dignity”. Remember this even though you are saying “how long can I suppress my anger?” 

You have to carry on putting up with your family’s mistreatment of you and you have to carry on honouring them and treating them kindly, even if they mistreat you and hurt you. 

Secondly: 

What we advise you to do in practical terms is as follows: 

1 – Be patient and seek reward with Allaah for the things you are suffering from your family. Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning): 

“And seek help in patience and As-Salaah (the prayer) and truly, it is extremely heavy and hard except for Al-Khaashi‘oon [i.e. the true believers in Allaah — those who obey Allaah with full submission, fear much from His punishment, and believe in His Promise (Paradise) and in His Warnings (Hell)]”

[al-Baqarah 2:45]. 

2 – Honour them and treat them kindly, and show kindness to them by giving them gifts, taking care of them, and speaking nicely to them. It was narrated from Abu Hurayrah that the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “Give one another gifts, so that you will love one another.” Narrated by al-Bukhaari in al-Adab al-Mufrad (594); classed as hasan by al-Haafiz Ibn Hajar in al-Talkhees al-Habeer (3/70) and by al-Albaani in Irwa’ al-Ghaleel (1601). 

3 – Advise them and urge them to adhere to the rulings of sharee’ah and good manners, with wisdom and beautiful preaching. 

Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning): 

“Invite (mankind, O Muhammad صلىالله عليه وسلم) to the way of your Lord (i.e. Islam) with wisdom (i.e. with the Divine Revelation and the Qur’aan) and fair preaching, and argue with them in a way that is better. Truly, your Lord knows best who has gone astray from His path, and He is the Best Aware of those who are guided”

[al-Nahl 16:125] 

4 – Use a variety of da’wah methods, and do not stick to just one method. Audio and video tapes and booklets may have an effect in changing their behaviour. 

5 – Seek the help of knowledgeable people and seeker of knowledge who are held in high esteem by them, and ask them to visit you and speak to them and advise them. 

6 – Strive to seek a halaal income, which will enable you to get married. You can look for another job, or travel to a Muslim country to work there. 

7 – Always pray that they will be guided. 

We ask Allaah to enable you to do that which He loves and which pleases Him, and to make things easy for you, and to guide your family to righteousness and wisdom. 

And Allaah is the source of strength.

Rejecting the sunnah and praying behind someone who does

Assalamalaykum wa rahmatulla wa barakatuh,
My family is not very religious but I try to be, but am constantly mocked and ridiculed for trying to follow the sunnah of Prophet Muhammad and enjoining the right and forbidding the wrong. My family think I am extreme in my views because I hold hadith in high regard, whereas my father does not. He believes that a hadith explaining the commandments in the Qur'an, for example praying, should be followed, but those concerning matters outside of the Quern, for example prohibition of touching a female who is not your mehram, should not be followed. He has many other beliefs, but my question is this:
Is it permissible for me to pray behind him with him as the Imam? If not, is it permissible for me to pretend that I am praying so that he does not feel offended that I do not want to pray behind him? Because I have read in Quern that children should not hurt their parents, and one of the biggest sins in Islam is a child making his parents cry, and I feel that in telling him that I am not able to pray behind him, I would infact hurt him.
I eagerly await your response. Jazzakallahkhairum for your help.
Wa alaykum-as-salam wa rahmatulla wa barakatuh.

Al-hamdu lillaah.

The situation in which you are, dear brother, is certainly a difficult one. It is not easy to live with a father that has aberrations and perversities stemming from being misguided from the true path of ahl us-sunnah wal-jamaa’ah (the followers of the Qur’aan, sunnah, and our pious predecessors). However, a Muslim is to anticipate and seek reward from Allaah for: being patient with and persevering in dealing with your father; and, being polite when counseling and showing him the truth of guidance, using appropriate and agreeable methods that do not give your father the impression that you are trying to show superiority or arrogance, or that you are belittling him. Instead, your father should feel that the advice is from a son that acknowledges and respects his position as his father, and that your concern is out of care and veneration., as the case was with Prophet Ibrahim (peace be upon him) when calling his father to the path of truth. Allaah the Most Glorious said in the Qur’aan (interpretation of the meaning):

When he (Ibrahim) said to his father: "O my father! Why do you worship that which hears not, sees not and cannot avail you in anything? O my father! Verily, there has come to me of knowledge that which has not come to you. So follow me; I will guide you to a straight path. O my father! Worship not Satan. Verily, Satan has been a rebel against the Most Beneficent (Allah). O my father! Verily, I fear lest a torment from the Most Beneficent (Allaah) overtake you, so that you become a companion of Satan ( in Hell-Fire)." He (the father) said: " Do you reject my gods, O Ibrahim? If you do not stop (this), I will indeed stone you. So get away from me safely before I punish you." Ibrahim said :" Peace be upon you. I will ask forgiveness of my Lord for you. Verily, He is unto me, ever most gracious. (surat Maryam, 19:41-47)

Note that Prophet Ibrahim (peace be upon him) addressed his father in the most subordinate and most refined, courteous, and polite expression (abati in Arabic). Prophet Ibrahim (peace be upon him) did not say to him, "I am a scholar and you are ignorant"; instead, he said "There has come to me of knowledge (as a Prophet) that which has not come unto you." Ibrahim (peace be upon him) showed his concern and compassion towards his father’s well-being when he said, "O my father! Verily, I fear lest a torment from the Most Beneficent (Allaah) overtake you…." When his father rejected the truth and threatened to stone him, Ibrahim (peace be upon him) replied in utmost politeness, "Peace be upon you," and promised him that he will pray to his Lord on his behalf for forgiveness. This is how a righteous son should advise his misguided father.

You also should know that rejecting or denying the sunnah of our Prophet (peace be upon him) is an extremely grave matter; hopefully this subject will be covered in detail as a separate issue. In brief, if your father’s bida’ah (innovation in religion) takes him out of the fold of Islam, then your prayers behind him is not valid since he would be a kafir (infidel, unbeliever). Such would be the case if, for example, he insists and persists in completely rejecting the sunnah in its entirety, even after the proof and evidence demonstrating and substantiating the truth and validity of the matter is presented to him. On the other hand, if your father’s bida’ah does not take him out of the fold of Islam, such as the case of refusing to perform certain acts mentioned in the Qur’aan and Sunnah, then it is permissible to pray behind him and your prayers are sound, and Allaah knows best.

Addendum: Sheikh Muhammad ibn Salih ibn Uthaimeen has replied the following with regards to this question:

Denying (the sunnah) could be of two types: a denial with regards to interpretation or a denial of rejection. If it is a denial of rejection, in the sense that one might say, "Yes, I realize that the Prophet (peace be upon him) said this, but I reject it and don’t accept it," then the person is a kaafir (unbeliever) and has committed apostasy. Thus, it would be impermissible to pray behind him. If, on the other hand, it is a denial of interpretation, then he is granted a respite, if the interpretation is possible and warranted by the language, and he knows the sources of Islamic law and its resources. In this case, it is not an act of kufr, but rather under the category of those who innovate incorrect practices in the religion (if his interpretation is such). It would be permissible to pray behind such a person, unless there is a beneficial objective behind not doing so, such as deterring him from such opinions, so that he may reconsider his mistaken interpretations. In this latter case, then it would be preferable not to pray behind him (if such a beneficial effect would be realized).

Her husband watches porn with the excuse of stress at work

 

My husband has a high stress job and he says the only way he can relax is to engage in various sexual acts.. such as watching porn together or fantasising about threesomes.. or having sex on webcamera with someone watching.. i know all this is haram ,we have a very good relationhship otherwise.. but he pressureises me for these things and i do not want to refuse him as it creates tension in between us..i have tried talking and explaining patiently but this issue keeps coming up again and again.. i would like to add that the only thing that makes me refuse is the fear of it being prohibited in islam.. i am not forced in a nyway by him.. just a sort of pressure and if i refuse he is kind of cold towards me.. i am very worried and stressed about this.. please advise me what should i do.. and also tell me what is teh punishment for these acts.

Praise be to Allaah.

Watching pornographic websites and sexual activity is haraam;
it is a disease, not a remedy. The one who does that is afflicted and he
should seek to remedy himself by repenting and giving it up, not by making
up excuses for himself. All sinners make up excuses for themselves. The one
who drinks alcohol or takes drugs or commits adultery – they all claim that
they are under pressure and that they cannot escape it except by doing
something haraam. 

In fact these haraam things only add to their worries and
stress. One of the punishments of sin is feelings of stress and alienation,
and darkness on the face and in the heart. The further away a person is from
his Lord and the more he is indulging in sins, the further away the means of
attaining happiness and peace of mind are from him, as Allah, may He be
exalted, says (interpretation of the meaning):

“But whosoever turns away from My Reminder (i.e. neither
believes in this Quran nor acts on its orders, etc.) verily, for him is a
life of hardship”

[Ta-Ha’ 20:124].

As for the people of faith and obedience, Allah, may He be
exalted, says concerning them (interpretation of the meaning):

“Whoever works righteousness, whether male or female,
while he (or she) is a true believer (of Islamic Monotheism) verily, to him
We will give a good life (in this world with respect, contentment and lawful
provision), and We shall pay them certainly a reward in proportion to the
best of what they used to do (i.e. Paradise in the Hereafter)”

[an-Nahl 16:97]. 

What you have to do is advise your husband to keep away from
these haraam things, and tell him about beneficial remedies to treat stress
and anxiety, one of the greatest of which is reading the Holy Qur’aan, which
is the means of bringing relief and peace to the heart. See the answer to
question no. 21677 and
30901. 

Perhaps you can also refer to the essay on “Dealing with
worries and stress” on this website. 

Secondly: 

It is permissible for the husband to enjoy his wife however
he wants, so long as he avoids intercourse at the time of menses and in the
anus. 

There are different way of enjoying intimacy that are not
forbidden in Islam, but they are off-putting to people of good taste and
sound natures; however they are permissible if the wife agrees to them. 

If your husband calls you to do something haraam, you have to
refuse and not be a party to sin and disobedience. If he calls you to do
something permissible that you find off-putting and distasteful, then it is
up to you whether you accept or refuse. If you decide to go along with it
because you are afraid he will lose interest in you, you may do so, but it
is better for you to fulfil his desires in proper ways that do not make
either of you feel put off. 

And Allah knows best.

 

Important note to learn and read quran online

Online Quran Tutor is the one who comes into mind when someone says to learn Holy Quran online or learning the Quran with the right pronunciation. The Holy Quran is the word of Allah Ta’ala and recitation of the Quran is a sensitive matter. We have to listen quran with full attention and read quran online with the perfection and it is suppose to be read, there are many places in the Quran which have to be recited with care and attention because if someone recites them with the wrong pronunciation, the whole context and meaning of the verse get changed. its the beauty of every Muslim parent to carry on with the teaching of Islam and letting there kids to learn quran