His wife and her family accused him of having something wrong with his mind; should he take a second wife?

 

I am 24 years old and I got married a year ago. My marriage lasted only 6 months, after which my wife’s family accused me of being mentally ill. I proved that this was not the case with the help of a government psychiatrist. This is happening to me because my wife’s family is accusing me and she is agreeing with them, may Allaah forgive her. What should I do? Should I take another wife? Please note that the problem with my wife has been referred to the court and divorce proceedings are under way. If I get married [to a second wife] now, will there be any sin on me?.

Praise be to Allaah.
 

 

Proof that a person is in good mental health and treats
others well does not require the testimony of a doctor. What matters is what
people see of a man, not the papers he produces.  

Hence if the accusations of your wife’s family are based on
things that they have seen you do or words that they have heard you speak,
then they may have a reason. You have to sort yourself out and mend your
ways so that there will be nothing for others to judge you by.  

If what they said about you has no real basis, rather it is
false and sinful testimony, then we think that you should advise them and
explain to them that their false accusation against you is sinful, and tell
them how that has caused division between you and your wife. If they recant,
then all well and good, otherwise you should shun them, and not let them
visit you or let your wife visit them, lest they turn her against you. 

With regard to your intention of taking a second wife, what
we advise you is to wait and to examine the real motive for that, because
often in such cases the decision is based on the desire for revenge against
the first wife and her family because of the trouble they caused, and
usually when a man marries with this attitude it leads to trouble for the
second wife too, if the husband has not set things straight with his first
wife and her family. 

If you have not set things straight between you and your wife
and her family, we think that if you want to take a second wife, you should
let the first wife go and divorce her, or you can keep the first wife if you
intend to keep both wives if Allaah guides her (the first wife). We also
advise you to have a good intention and try to do the right thing, for
Allaah says concerning spouses between whom there are difficulties
(interpretation of the meaning): 

“if they both wish for peace, Allaah will cause their
reconciliation. Indeed Allaah is Ever All‑Knower, Well‑Acquainted with all
things”

[al-Nisa’ 4:35] 

We advise you to fear
Allaah with regard to every step you take and not to let this problem cause
you to treat her unjustly or to keep reminding her of mistakes that she made
but that she has apologized for.

 We ask Allaah to set your affairs straight and to make it easy for both of you to do the right thing. And Allaah is the Source of strength.

 

 

He wants to marry her but she does not wear niqaab. Should he go ahead and propose or should he look for someone else?

 

I am a young Arab man who lives according to our Arab traditions, or what is known as a good attitude and etiquette, but this commitment has nothing to do with adhering to Islamic teachings, because in our country adhering to tradition does not contradict listening to music, mixing, dealing with riba-based banks and so on. I proposed marriage to a girl in the same environment that I am living in, and her family have been friends of my family for a long time. They all approved of the marriage since they know that we are both of good character. But my problem, unfortunately, started when I began to read about the rules on marriage in Islam and I started to reduce mixing and to pray regularly in the mosque and let my beard grow and not deal with riba-based banks and not listen to music and so on. Now both families are regarding me as an extremist, except those on whom Allaah has mercy, and they started to make this girl afraid of me, even though she loves me very much and has told them all about that many times. The girl wants to be committed but she is not able to do some things such as wearing niqaab or covering the face. So she too regards these things as signs of extremism in religion, as her family do. 


Should I forget about this girl who is of good character and proper etiquette and who is keen to pray and recite the adhkaar of the Messenger (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) and is trying to be committed, and who loves me and tells others of that, and does not want to lose me, but she is unable to do some things that have to do with religion, such as covering her face, and look for someone else who is committed but whose family and behaviour I do not know and my judgement of her will be only according to what I hear from those who know her family and behaviour?.

Praise be to Allaah.

We ask Allaah the Almighty to make us and you steadfast in
adhering to His religion, and to bless us and you with more obedience and
righteousness. 

With regard to what you are asking about, it is better for
you to stay with this girl towards whom your heart is inclined, and who
feels likewise about you, and who has no faults that would cause you to
leave her. All that there is, is that she needs a little care and
encouragement and sound Islamic education to accept and follow the commands
of Allaah. 

A lot of that may come after marriage, especially if you
treat her nicely and move her into a better environment than the one she is
in, which is what we advise and encourage you to do.  

There is no reason why a woman who loves her religion and is
obedient to her husband should not respond to the command of Allaah as
regards her clothing, especially since this will make her husband love and
respect her more. 

Her refusal to wear niqaab may be because of the lies
fabricated by some of those who are ignorant and who follow their own whims
and desires, who say that the niqaab is a custom inherited from the
Jaahiliyyah and that it was not brought by Islam. You should explain to her
the ruling on a woman covering her face, with evidence from the Qur’aan and
Sunnah, and tell her that the scholars are unanimously agreed that this
ruling is prescribed in Islam. 

Remind her of the Sahaabi women who hastened to tear their
aprons so that they could cover their faces after the verse of hijab was
revealed, and encourage her to have righteous friends. Tell her that this
world is transient and soon each of us will meet our Lord with our deeds. 

Neither you nor she should worry about what your families
will say. As for such environments where the rulings of Islam are not known
and people cannot differentiate between proper adherence to Islam and
extremism no attention should be paid to them or to what they say about one
who adheres to the path of righteousness. 

If your wife does not respond to the Islamic injunction to
cover the face, then be patient with her, and try to convey the message to
her in some other way, such as from another women who is involved in da’wah,
or by means of tapes and books by scholars whose knowledge and religious
commitment can be trusted. 

Seek the help of Allaah and persist in calling upon Him,
asking Him for support and help to establish a household based on what our
Lord loves and is pleased with. 

Show her the answer to question no.
21134, which speaks of
the obligation to wear niqaab according to the Qur’aan and Sunnah. 

And please see question no.
20343 which speaks of the
husband’s duty to advise his wife and how he may do so. 

And Allaah is the Source of strength.

She is in love with a married man and cannot keep away from him

 

She had a boyfriend, but he left her and got married. She has another boyfriend who is married and she used to tell him about her worries. She fell in love with him and cannot keep away from him. He promised her that he would divorce his wife and marry her, but his mother refuses to let him divorce his wife and marry her. Now she is going out with him.

Praise be to Allaah.

Firstly: 

You have to repent and seek forgiveness, and regret what you
have done by getting in touch with men who are not your mahrams, and
speaking to them and going out with them. 

You must also cut off all ties with this second man
immediately, with no hesitation, because the relationship between you is
haraam.  

How can you accept to be the cause of his divorcing his wife?
If you were in her position, would you accept for your husband to divorce
you in order to marry another woman who has come between you to spoil your
lives? 

Secondly: 

We do not know how a wise man could agree to marry a woman
when he knows that she has had a haraam relationship with a man before him
and she has not repented from that relationship. 

Whatever happened to chastity and protective jealousy? Does
he not fear that this man may come back into her life again? 

To put it bluntly, either this woman has repented or she has
not. If she has repented from those relationships then there can never be
any contact or relationship between them except in marriage. In this case
there is nothing wrong with marrying her, but he should obey his mother, and
not divorce his first wife. 

If she has not repented from these actions, then it is not
unlikely that she may form a relationship with a third man and a fourth. 

Similarly, in your case, how can you agree to marry a man who
is content to form haraam relationships, speaking and meeting with women? If
he has repented, then there can never be any meetings between you, and if he
has not repented, then a man like that cannot be trusted. His aim may be
just to have fun with you, and even if he is sincere in wanting to marry
you, there is nothing that would stop him from forming haraam relationships
with other women. 

Hence you have to cut off all ties without hesitating, and
pray for forgiveness from Allaah for wasting your life in haraam pursuits.
Turn to Allaah and ask Him to purify your heart and to remove all traces of
those haraam relationships which have corrupted your heart and mind, let
alone detracted from your religious commitment. 

If you are sincere in repenting there is the hope that Allaah
will bless you with someone better than him, and will make it easy for you
to get married to a chaste and righteous man who will treat you in a decent
manner and help you to attain the pleasure of your Lord, and you and he will
form a believing family and produce good and righteous offspring. 

Do not pay any attention to your heart and emotions, for in
this case emotion has overpowered reason and religious commitment, and has
harmed your spiritual and worldly interests. Your heart now is sick so you
should not let it lead you to Hell. 

Seek the help of Allaah, for He will not let down the one who
seeks His help, and the one who humbles himself before his Lord will never
lose out. Do a lot of righteous deeds, and seek righteous, believing female
friends who can help you to deal with your worries and help you to obey your
Lord. 

And Allaah is the Source of strength.

He smacks and pinches his one-year-old child, then he feels regret

 

Praise be to Allaah for wealth and offspring. Allaah has blessed me with a beautiful child, but I have strange feelings towards this child. When he cries, I lose control and I smack him, pinch him etc, then afterwards I feel physically and mentally shaken. I love him dearly and when people pick him up he laughs and plays with them, but when he sees me he cries and screams. My son is one year old. Please note that I pray and fast.

Praise be to Allaah.

This manner
of treating your son is very strange. There follows some advice, perhaps
Allaah will cause you to benefit from it:  

1 – A small
child needs food, drink, sleep and air, and love and compassion are among
the best kinds of food that the parents can give their child. Giving
physical food without this emotional nourishment is neglect of the child’s
natural need for both. 

2 – Showing
compassion to the child brings positive results. Hence we are advised to
breastfeed the child naturally so that the goodness of food and drink will
be combined with the goodness of being in the proper place, which is his
mother’s lap. Hence modern science has discovered the great effects that
mother’s milk has on the physical and emotional development of the child and
– conversely – the negative effects of depriving the child of his mother’s
milk and care. Societies in which violence towards children is widespread
have become societies in which crime and evildoing has become widespread. 

Some
sociologists have stated that the parent’s ongoing smacking and rebuking of
their children leads to psychological complexes in the child and increases
family violence. This leads to a problem which is difficult to confront,
because violence in the home leads to violence in society, which becomes
widespread, and the victims of this violence in turn inflict psychological
terrorism on individuals, which threatens the security of the society. 

3 – The one
who is harsh towards his children is going against sound human nature
(fitrah) and sharee’ah. Allaah has created people with love for their
children. Hence Allaah and His Messenger (peace and blessings of Allaah
be upon him) did not enjoin parents to care for their children in this
manner (because it is innate). On the contrary, Islam enjoins children to
care for their fathers and mothers, and warns them against disobeying them. 

As for going
against sharee’ah: smacking children and not showing compassion towards them
is indicative of a lack of mercy in the heart of the one who does that,
which is a sign of being deprived of the mercy of Allaah, may He be
exalted. 

It was
narrated that Abu Hurayrah (may Allaah be pleased with him) said: The
Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) kissed
al-Hasan ibn ‘Ali when al-Aqra’ ibn Haabis al-Tameemi was sitting with him.
Al-Aqra’ said: I have ten children and I have never kissed one of them. The
Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said:
“The one who does not show mercy will not be shown mercy.” 

Narrated by
al-Bukhaari (5651) and Muslim (2318). 

It was
narrated that ‘Aa’ishah (may Allaah be pleased with her) said: A Bedouin
came to the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) and
said: Do you kiss children? We do not kiss them. The Prophet (peace and
blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “What can I do for you if Allaah has
removed mercy from your heart?” Narrated by al-Bukhaari (5652). 

Our
Prophet’s compassion towards children was so great that he would shorten the
prayer because of their crying, out of compassion towards them and their
mothers. 

It was
narrated from Anas ibn Maalik that the Prophet (peace and blessings of
Allaah be upon him) said: “I start to pray intending to make it long, then I
hear the crying of a child, so I make it short because of his mother’s
distress.” 

Narrated by
al-Bukhaari (677) and Muslim (470). 

4 – You
should understand that you are falling short in raising your child by doing
this, and you may see the evil consequences of it in this world before the
Hereafter. How can such treatment produce a good upbringing and a sound,
righteous child? 

5 – You
should understand that a child’s crying does not happen for no reason,
rather every kind of crying has its cause. So you should feel compassion
towards him when he is crying, so that you will be motivated to find the
cause, such as sickness or hunger. You should not be quick to smack him or
pinch him or mistreat him, lest you add another reason, which is crying
because of pain. 

A
psychologist said: Psychologists think that crying, like other behaviour, is
usually a means of relieving tension. So crying, screaming, yelling,
breaking toys and possessions and fidgeting are all ways of expressing
tension that is connected to anger or grief, because the frustration that
the child is faced with may create aggressiveness in him, so crying is a way
to expressing this aggression and getting rid of it. Not crying may be
indicative of suppression of this aggression, which may then move to the
subconscious where the child may forget it, but it will not be hidden
completely and it may manifest itself when he grows older in the form of
sickness, anxiety, and aggression whenever the child finds an opportunity. 

6 – You
should also note that shaking a child may cause mental or physical
disability, so how about if he is smacked? 

American
researchers have warned that shaking children may cause death or severe
mental disability. Researchers have explained that destruction of the brain
may occur when a child is shaken violently. It may cause them to die or may
cause nerve damage and mental disability, such as learning disabilities,
mental paralysis, blindness, convulsions, difficulty in reading, attention
deficit disorder and other educational problems. 

One female
specialist said: Infants’ crying is annoying and disturbing, but it is their
only way to express their needs, so first of all we need to find out the
reason why the infant is crying and hasten to tend to it, instead of shaking
him. She emphasized that boys are more likely to be harmed than girls, as
57% of victims are male. 

Researchers
noted that shaking a child violently when he cries or throwing him up in the
air and catching him, or shaking him violently on one's knees or jogging
with him are all factors that may lead to brain damage, as the result of the
brain being knocked against the skull, which causes blood vessels to break
and leads to haemorrhaging in the brain. Experts have pointed out that
nursing infants and newborns are the most likely to suffer disability
resulting from shaking, in comparison to older children. 

Conclusion:
You have to fear Allaah and not go against the fitrah (sound human nature)
or the laws of Allaah. You should be compassionate towards your beautiful
child and do not cause him to be lost or disabled, then you would have to
live your whole life with this mistake. Look at the life of the Prophet
(peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) and his companions, and let them
be a good example for you.  

Strive to
make du’aa’ and recite ruqyah for yourself, your family and your child, lest
you be afflicted by the evil eye or witchcraft. Ruqyah is beneficial in all
cases.  

We hope that
you will be guided aright and that your child will be safe from harm. We ask
Allaah to help you to raise him soundly. 

And Allaah knows
best.

 

IIs it permissible for him to trim his beard so that he will not be exposed to harm?

 

My friend is going to get married in an Islamic country. Alhamdillah he is a practicing Muslim ( May Allah taala guide us all) and observes the sunnah of "leaving the beard". In this country where he is going, those with long beards are detained (especially those of Pakistani origin) at the airport and the secret police often follow them. He does not want to cause hardship to his wife's family, who are likely to be followed and harassed by the government. Therefore, he wishes to trim his beard slightly just for this occasion and grow it back. If not for the possibility of bringing hardship to his in-laws he would not want to trim. Please advise .

Praise be to Allaah.

Letting the beard grow is obligatory according to sharee’ah,
and shaving it is haraam. In the answer to question no.
1189 we have stated the ruling on
shaving the beard, and that shaving it is a haraam action. 

Ibn Hazm (may Allaah have mercy on him) narrated that the
scholars are unanimously agreed that it is not permissible to shave the
beard. 

Al-Muhalla, 2/189 

With regard to shaving
it for fear of persecution or exposure to harm, this fear is not all of one
level.  In some cases it may be what is likely to happen, and in other cases
it may be imaginary, and in yet others it may be six of one and half a dozen
of the other.  

It is not permissible for him to shave his beard or trim it
except in cases where harm is likely to result, and it is not permissible in
any other situation. 

This comes under the heading of cases of necessity. Allaah
says (interpretation of the meaning): 

“But if one is forced by necessity without willful
disobedience nor transgressing due limits, then there is no sin on him.
Truly, Allaah is Oft-Forgiving, Most Merciful”

[al-Baqarah 2:173] 

Or in cases of compulsion. Allaah says (interpretation of the
meaning): 

“Whoever disbelieved in Allaah after his belief, except
him who is forced thereto and whose heart is at rest with Faith; but such as
open their breasts to disbelief, on them is wrath from Allaah, and theirs
will be a great torment”

[al-Nahl 16:106] 

Force or compulsion means that he will be harmed if he does
not shave it. As for simply experiencing some annoyance or questions or
investigation, these are things from which those who do shave their beards
are not necessarily safe, so that does not mean that a person is permitted
to fall into sin. 

In cases of compulsion, there are conditions which must be
met in order for it to be permissible for a Muslim to be granted the
concession of doing or saying something that is haraam. Understanding what
these conditions are is very important, because many people are claiming
that they are forced to do things when that is not the case. 

Ibn Qudaamah said: 

The conditions of compulsion include three things: 

1 – That the one who is trying to force you has power to
cause harm

2 – That he thinks it most likely that the threat will be
carried out if he does not do what is being demanded of him

3 – That the harm be severe, such as being killed, beaten
severely, tied up or imprisoned for a lengthy period. As for being insulted
or cursed, this is not compulsion, and neither is taking a small amount of
wealth. 

If the person is of low status, a little harm may not be
compulsion in his case, unlike those of high position for whom a little harm
may be a humiliation and it is like a severe beating for someone else who is
of lower status.

If there is a threat of
torturing his child, this is not compulsion, because the harm is being
directed at someone else. But it is more likely that this is compulsion,
because that is worse for him than taking his wealth; that threat (to take
his wealth) is compulsion, so the same applies here. 

Al-Mughni, 7/292 

If the harm can be warded off by trimming the beard, then he
should not shave it off, rather it is sufficient to trim it, because shaving
is worse than trimming. It should be noted that a person should have the
need to undertake this journey to that country. But if there is no need for
that then it is not permissible to shave his beard for the sake of
travelling, because he is not being forced to do that. 

And Allaah knows best.

His wife reviles him and insults him. What should he do?

His wife reviles him and insults him. What should he do?

ar - en

There is a very ill mannered wife who slanders and insults her husband. He has warned her more than once, but she insists on insulting him. He cannot tolerate this but he has a daughter, and he fears for his daughter if he divorces his wife. What should he do?.

 

Praise be to Allaah.

If the wife insults and reviles her husband, then he must
advise her and warn her, and explain to her that her bad talk incurs sin,
especially since the husband is the most deserving of people of her respect
and good treatment, as the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be
upon him) said: “If I were to command anyone to prostrate to anyone, I would
have told women to prostrate to their husbands, because of the rights that
Allaah has given them over them.” Narrated by Abu Dawood (2140) and
al-Tirmidhi (1159); classed as saheeh by al-Albaani in Saheeh Abi Dawood. 

You should follow with her the method that Allaah has
mentioned in His Book, of admonishing, forsaking in bed and hitting in a way
that does not cause injury. If none of that is successful, then you should
seek help in advising her from a righteous person in her family, so as to
preserve the family and take care of the rights of the children, if there
are any. 

Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning): 

“Men are the protectors and maintainers of women, because
Allaah has made one of them to excel the other, and because they spend (to
support them) from their means. Therefore the righteous women are devoutly
obedient (to Allaah and to their husbands), and guard in the husband’s
absence what Allaah orders them to guard (e.g. their chastity and their
husband’s property). As to those women on whose part you see ill‑conduct,
admonish them (first), (next) refuse to share their beds, (and last) beat
them (lightly, if it is useful); but if they return to obedience, seek not
against them means (of annoyance). Surely, Allaah is Ever Most High, Most
Great”

[al-Nisa’ 4:34] 

Among the admonishment that you may use with her is telling
her of the sin that she is committing by disobeying her husband, and the
great reward that she will attain if she obeys him. 

You should also explain to her the harm that will be suffered
by her, her husband and her daughter in the event of a divorce or if she
continues to behave in this manner. 

If the wife responds and is affected by this admonition, and
she gives up this bad behaviour, then this is what is wanted. If she
persists in her evil ways and foolishness, then there is no blame on the
husband if he divorces her. 

The scholars have stated that divorce may be permissible if
it is needed because of the wife’s bad attitude and bad conduct, and if he
is harmed by that and the purpose of marriage is not being achieved.  

Al-Mughni (10/324). 

What you have mentioned about being afraid for your daughter
if you separate is something that should be taken into account. If you are
afraid that you will not be able to bring her up, or that the girl will be
harmed because of this divorce, then you should weigh up the two evils, that
of staying with a woman whose attitude is bad and who is mistreating you,
and that of what might happen to your daughter after a divorce. One of the
basic principles of sharee’ah is doing the lesser of two evils in order to
ward off the greater. 

You should pray istikhaarah, asking Allaah for guidance,
before making your decision, and you should strive for reconciliation if
possible. If that is not possible then strive to protect your daughter and
get custody of her, and do not leave her for this woman to raise her with
her attitude. 

We advise you to pray to Allaah and always fear Him, for
Allaah has promised provision and a way out to the pious who always fear
Him. Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning): 

“And whosoever fears Allaah and keeps his duty to Him, He
will make a way for him to get out (from every difficulty).

3. And He will provide him from (sources) he never could
imagine. And whosoever puts his trust in Allaah, then He will suffice him.
Verily, Allaah will accomplish his purpose. Indeed Allaah has set a measure
for all things”

[al-Talaaq 65:2-3] 

We also advise you to repent to Allaah from all sins, for the
wife’s bad attitude may be a punishment for sins that one has committed, as
it was narrated that al-Fudayl ibn ‘Iyaad (may Allaah have mercy on him)
said: I disobey Allaah then I see that in the attitude of my mount or my
wife.  

We ask Allaah to set our affairs and the affairs of the
Muslims straight. 

And Allaah knows best.

Her family are objecting to her living with her husband’s family

Her family are objecting to her living with her husband’s family

ar - en - fr

I got married four months ago, and I promised my wife that she would have her own place to live, but because it was so difficult to find suitable accommodation in my city, I asked her to let us live with my family temporarily. 


Is it permissible for her parents to object to us moving in with my family?.

 

Praise be to Allaah.

Accommodation is one of the wife’s rights that the husband is
obliged to provide, according to scholarly consensus, because Allaah has
given the woman who is revocably divorced (first or second talaaq) the right
to accommodation provided by her husband, as He says (interpretation of the
meaning): 

“Lodge them (the divorced women) where you dwell,
according to your means”

[al-Talaaq 65:6] . 

So the right to accommodation is even more certain in the
case of one who is still married, because Allaah has enjoined kind treatment
between spouses as He says (interpretation of the meaning): “and live
with them honourably” [al-Nisa’ 4:19]. Part of living with them
honourably is providing one’s wife with accommodation where she feels safe.
Similarly, a wife cannot do without accommodation to conceal her from the
gaze of others and where she can relax and feel that her property is safe.
Hence accommodation is a right that she has over her husband. 

The majority of Hanafi, Shaafa’i and Hanbali fuqaha’ are of
the view that the wife has the right to accommodation that is separate from
her husband’s relatives, and she has the right to refuse to live with his
father or mother or both. 

The Maalikis are of the view that a distinction is to be made
between a wife of noble status and a wife of lowly status. They said that it
is not permissible to make a wife of noble status live with one’s parents,
but that is permissible with regard to a wife of lowly status, unless making
the wife of lowly status live with the parents will cause her harm. See:
al-Mawsoo’ah al-Fiqhiyyah (25/109), al-Sharh al-Sagheer ‘ala
Mukhtasar Khaleel (2/737). 

But what is meant by accommodation according to the fuqaha’
is providing her with a room that has a door and a lock, along with a
bathroom and kitchen, unless they are poor and are content to share a
kitchen and bathroom. 

Ibn ‘Aabideen said in his Haashiyah (3/600): The
phrase “a separate house” means a place to spend the night, which is a
separate, specific place. It seems that what is meant by separate is a place
that is hers alone and she does not share it with anyone else in the
household. “With a lock” means that which is locked and opened with a key.
“… bathroom and kitchen” means a washroom and a place for cooking which are
inside the room or the house, and she does not share them with any other
member of the household. I (Ibn ‘Aabideen) say: And that should be the case
with regard to people who are not poor, so that each person has his own room
and some shared facilities such as the bathroom, oven and well. 

See also question no. 7653. 

Secondly: 

If the wife agrees to live with your family, there is nothing
wrong with that, because she is giving up her right. Her parents have no
right to object to that, so long as she is an adult of sound mind. 

She has the right to withdraw this agreement, because her
right to separate accommodation is not forfeited by her giving it up. 

Thirdly: 

The wife’s living with her husband’s family should be free of
any haraam things such as the husband’s brothers, paternal uncles etc being
alone with her or looking at her. 

It is well known that it is not permissible for a woman to be
alone with, shake hands with or uncover any part of her ‘awrah in front of
her husband’s brothers, because they are strangers to her like any other
non-mahrams; rather there should be even more caution in their case, because
the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “Beware
of entering upon women.” An Ansaari man said: O Messenger of Allaah, what
about the in-law? He said: “The in-law is death.” Narrated by al-Bukhaari
(4934) and Muslim (2172). al-Layth ibn Sa’d said: The in-law is the brother
of the husband and similar relatives of the husband such as his cousin and
the like.

 Narrated by Muslim. 

That depends on the situation of both the wife and of the
husband’s family, and whether both parties can put up with sharing
accommodation and living space. It seems that nowadays married life is
affected greatly by such circumstances, and many problems between both
parties are caused by sharing accommodation, to such an extent that it is
very rare to find a happy and calm married life when sharing living space
with the husband’s family. Perhaps it is because all people have seen such
things that your wife’s family  have objected to your moving in with your
family, out of concern for your marriage, and they are not being stubborn or
trying to control you and your family. 

We ask Allaah to help you to do that which is good and to
help you and your family and your wife. 

And Allaah knows best.